Calling All Sensitive, Empathetic Magical Women… Let’s talk relationship knots

{See our fun intro video!}

Relationships are crucial and mandatory for a full life. Parent, family, children, neighbors, co workers, friends, sisterhoods, witchy sisters and everyone else… They are not always easy and not always clear. All relationships have “stuff,” they may take up a lot of space in your bran, and if you are into sense of development you are aware how important boundaries are, and NOT always easy to set.

Meg Conkling, the Curly Hair Alchemist and I, became closer friends because I saw her on a LIVE FB video about a break up she was having. I was also having a break up and was laying in bed crying, she was sharing and processing on a LIVE video. She was speaking my voice, my feelings, my thoughts, and I felt understood just by listening. She reached out because I had gratitude and feedback from the video.

A year later, we come together with joy and offering of what we have learned and are learning, to give a one day retreat!

Return To Her Roots ~ One Day Retreat for sensitive, nurturing women who want more out of relationships in their lives…

This is a retreat to step into a feminine practice of untangling the knots of the mind and body that drain healthy relationships. The intention is for women to flourish, and walk away with gained knowledge along with the experience of how to manage stress and anxiety in your most important relationships, family, partners, and loved ones. 

Each sensitive, caring woman will experience connection and embodiment/movement practices to move forward in any stuck relationship that is taking up space in their hearts and minds. Using self-expression as the underlying modality, you’ll be brought to a place where your mind and body get to untangle relationships that are meaningful but feel stuck. 

You will tap into your wildly creative self, learn and experience manage over stimulated nerves, get grounded, open your heart and gain insights into stuck relationships, using the room of women to move forward.

No sister left behind. All women are welcome. https://backtoerroots.eventbrite.com if you say YES right away. 

We hope to see you there! {See our fun intro video!}

Loving you,

Shane

Email with any questions: Love@enchantedembodiment.com

 

What is the Sensual Sisterhood Self-Expression Workshop?

17522958_1240827462702102_4253152447221410186_nWhat is this? I get asked this many times. Facts: We move our bodies, we stand in eye contact, we laugh, we get loud, we share our inner thoughts, we make wishes.

Will we dance? Yes. Although I say it’s movement because the word “dance” brings up stuff. I was a stripper, I see that as an embodied sensual experience, all about ME!

Yes, me dancing sexy for me. Feminine energy is all about chaos and emotions, and that’s how we play in the Sensual Sisterhood Self-expression Workshop. We move our bodies through emotion that normally would stay in your head.

Dear Enchantress, keeping your BS in your head stuffs up your heart and blocks the new goodies that want to come in. The goodies being love, money, joy and ease in your life.

This class is a KULMAN-ation of my improv acting class, my stripping years, my pre-school teaching years, my years as a yoga teacher, and overall magic that I use and do in my own life to have created all the magic that I have!

I invite you my Goddess, my Enchantress because I stand for #nosisterleftbehind. There is no excuse for you slumping along and living a mundane life. F*ck that, why are you allowed to suffer and hide your shine if I can shine and the women that work with me shine?!

I stand for you shining in every room you step into. This workshop will shine you up for the week and your life! What would it feel like to live in your feminine power!

I desire to hear from you! DO you want accountability to attend? Here is the link, show up! I can’t wait to hold space for you! https://thesensualsisterhoodmasteryworkshop2017.eventbrite.com

Loving you,

Enchantress Shane

 

Far Rock Enchantress Empowers Mothers of Special-Needs Children

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From being an exotic dancer, special education teacher, improvisational actor, parent coach, and self-described enchantress, Far Rockaway resident, Shane Kulman defiantly, and regally embodies — “everywoman.”

Kulman, a Brooklyn native, seeking the ocean, moved to a bungalow in Far Rockaway in 2015. “After living in Brooklyn all my life, I started dreaming of living in my own witch’s cottage near the ocean. A friend told me to check out Rockaway. After reading an article about local artist and former president of the Beachside Bungalow Preservation Association of Far Rockaway, Richard George, I was immediately wooed,” Kulman said.

Kulman corresponded with George, and was won over by his love for the community and preserving the bungalows, not to mention the thriving artists’ enclave living there. Months later, she moved in. “I am now living in a redone bungalow, my little dream home in a community that has become my family,” Kulman said.

So how did Kulman go from exotic dancing — to working as a teacher with children on the autism spectrum — to improv acting — to coaching parents with special-needs children?

Kulman, who has a bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Education and a master’s in Special and Early Childhood Education, explained, “Believe it or not, exotic dancing was the stepping stone that inspired me. For 11 years I was an exotic dancer. During this time I learned that men and children give themselves permission to play, when women don’t. We often feel that we are not enough or too much. I got to really enjoy being seen. Being a stripper for me was a celebration of my body, my face, my personality.

“I could have been suicidal. I grew up loathing myself. These feelings haven’t all dissipated, but they are less meaningful. So I believe that working as an exotic dancer for all those years was really symbolic because I learned many things about myself and others. I am a listener. I focus on and absorb people. I never used to disclose my past as an exotic dancer, but I have come to the realization that I learned a lot about people just from doing it. It was a invaluable time of inflection and reflection,” she said.

Kulman decided to continue working with others, but this time with children. She began teaching, but hated the conformist structure of the public educational system.

“When I was a pre-school teacher, I knew that working in groups was not my passion. I knew how more helpful I could be if I worked with one child at a time. So I left and started working with the agency, Variety Child Learning Center in their Special Education Itinerant Teacher (SEIT) program, which specializes in teachers who work-on-one with special-needs children. I worked with kids ages three to five, either in their homes or in their schools,” she said.

Kulman learned a lot from working with children on the autism spectrum. “I was at first taken aback by how some of them did not automatically like me, when throughout my career most children did. For example, one child just preferred to line up his video boxes, rather than pay attention to me. After a while I learned to relax and be present with them, not to push any agenda or specific goals, but to meet them where they’re at.

“Then these children started to trust me. I learned that speech is not the only way to communicate. There is so much communication in behavior. So when I was working with nonverbal children, I was able to join their world, and appreciate their little quirks, and together we had the best time.

“I worked with this Egyptian family who came to the U.S. for the sole purpose of getting help for their nonverbal three-year-old autistic child. When I arrived at their home, the little boy is jumping everywhere, staring at the ceiling fan, and I felt the mother’s longing, like please help me. So I started working with the little boy by first using the overrated Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) technique. Getting a child to do what I want, and then reward them with a cookie, is just silly, so I decided to just play with him. One day, I sprayed this lavender spray I had in my bag and the next day he looks at me and makes the psssh, psssh sound of the spray. No words, but he was asking me for the lavender spray. He was curious about me, not my bag of toys or artificial goals that were set for him.

“It wasn’t about me teaching him the color red. It was about connecting with him, relationship building that made him want to learn. Who wants to hang out with anybody who just harps on the goals you can’t reach?” Kulman said.

Kulman went on to open her own business, Our Beautiful Child, to work exclusively with parents and kids. “I realized that the crucial work was working with moms. If a parent is not working on developing their own inner strength, they pass on their own issues in a nonconscious way. Parents who realize the power of support will learn how to introduce behaviors that set a child up for success.

“Simultaneously while working as a parent coach, I began improv acting, which was so helpful. There were exercises where we were mirroring our actions and learning how to be present, and with kids, you need to be present. I was learning how to pay attention to my own physical behaviors and the subtext of what I was saying versus what I was really saying. If I say to a child point to the color red, what they may be hearing is ‘this is boring and annoying, just do it so we could be done already.’ Children, autistic or not, sense what adults are feeling, and as a result shut down internally. So sometimes it’s not about the actual words, but the subtext of what we are really saying.

“I met a lot of moms who were depressed and did not know how to handle their special-needs child. I felt like parents expected me to fix their kid. So I really got to be in the minds of mothers. I observed that they were not feeling empowered to work with their children. They were trusting everyone else to do it for them. I want moms to see their greatness, which ultimately will empower their children,” Kulman said.

Kulman recently opened in Rockaway another business, Enchanted Embodiment, to help women embrace their power and “live a badass life and stop putting ourselves down. We deserve to own businesses, have lovers, feel good in our bodies,” she said.  Enchanted Embodiment will be hosting a women’s retreat at the Rockaway Retreat House on June 16 through June 18th. For more information visit: enchantedembodiment.com

“This retreat will be a magical weekend to really dive into and celebrate the divine femininity, instead of going through life exhausted and blaming ourselves,” Kulman said.

Get your Nap On!

Aloha Enchanted ones!

You have full permission to rest! When is the last time you had energy and you didn’t use it to exhaust yourself? Exactly. I know. Resting is a skill and can be a challenge. The good news is IT’S EXACTLY IMPORTANT as doing the work. EXACTLY. So pushing yourself to get it all done, whatever it is, actually keeps the Universe from paying you the goodies that it want to over provide!

I have taken naps, and woke up to have new clients paid their deposits, money that was owed to me put in my venmo, and another famous nap story: I sold 16 copies of my book! From Anxiety to Ease while napping!

If you can create time for a nap or a bath at the most “Get time!”

Loving you,

Enchantress Shane

 

Are You A Half Ass?

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Let go of your hair… I know that I’m all about saying nice things to myself, and loving kindness. BUT sometimes a word comes up and it feels “truthy.”  What are some kinder words for half-ass?

I have suffered from this in my life, for as far back as I can remember. How about you? Do you talk a lot and not get a lot done? Are you a dreamer? A visionary? A Enchantress who can be messy and start a lot but not see it through. I hear you, I see you, I am you. It can feel really bad, and I’m here to share, that you are doing ok! Affirm that you beautiful Enchantress! I AM DOING OK!

I have gotten through many half ass ideas and persevered and accomplished goals! All of them? NO. A long time ago a guy I went on a date with (that I was an hour late to,) said to me “they’re all not gems.” It stuck with me.

I am here to applaud all the “half ass-ers” and point out the courage and bravery to putting one foot it, and for some reason sensing “this ain’t right.” And letting it go!

Affirm that! I know when to let go! (Because they all ain’t gems!)

Some ways I’ve moved beyond the half-ass stage:

  • Made lists with mini steps
  • Got a coach (I always have a coach)
  • Wrote tasks in a calendar
  • Asked a friend for text accountability

I’ve also shared my feelings of half-ass in order to let them go….. Care to share any here…

Loving you,

Enchantress Shane

Compassionate for Garbage

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I remember as a young child watching garbage roll by on the sidewalk. Yes garbage, and I remember feeling bad for it. I had feeling of abandonment for the garbage, like it was blown along looking for it’s home. I was younger than six, and today I was reminded of this feeling, the actual feeling in my body of, there being so much garbage I couldn’t actually help all of it.  I felt sad that someone didn’t care enough to put it in the garbage. I grew up in Canarsie Brooklyn, there was always trash around. GROSS and careless. Even now when I see people litter, I’m like WTF?!? And I’m tempted every time to charge at them.

Children are so weird, I was, and am weird, I pay attention to my thoughts, they are not all helpful, they are not all positive or normal or loving or friendly. My thoughts can get SO dark it’s scary.  Often they are so weird, I get worried about myself. Then I remember no matter how weird they get, it’s actions that matter.

I am here to stand for the weird, scary, dark and bizarre thoughts and memories. They all matter on some level, they come from mostly experiences, and creations of stories. There is a certain freedom in sharing the weird and scary.

I remember a couple of times, knowing I couldn’t let go of my Mothers hand, (we must have been crossing the street) and save a  piece of garbage. I don’t exactly remember how often I would pick up random garbage and throw it away.

My closing thought on why I did this? I was an extremely sensitive child, and at some point became a young child who learned how to numb her feelings, the numbing lasted until my mid-30’s. How much I resisted and didn’t allow myself to feel.

Does the numb feel familiar to you? What is your “weirdest” childhood memory? Have you every thought of one? Do any just pop up, and it’s surreal how detailed the memory is?

I invite you to share in the comments!

Loving  you,

Shane

P.S. PSA Use garbage cans;)

 

Getting through Uncomfortable & Awkward Times

 

Getting Through Uncomfortable and Awkward Moments

Who doesn’t have them? Moments you have something BIG on your mind, and it’s SO HARD to get it from your head out into the open, and to be shared with another person.

Or are you the type that holds in your feelings, and thinks “this too shall pass.” It won’t and it doesn’t. If you don’t share your feelings, or you wait for the “perfect” time, you are inviting a war to begin in your body, and for unfulfilled expectations to form. BARF. It’s uncomfortable to hold in and it’s uncomfortable to share. There is POWER IN TRANSPARENCY, in telling the truth whenever the f*ck you want. Yes WHENEVER!

Using a beginning phrase and and a closing frame gives you a framework, that will help you not drown in over explaining, becoming defensive or apologetic. It will also help when the other person reacts or responds for you to remain centered and calm.

The other type of bookend, is to sandwich the one thing you DON’T want to do between two awesome and fun things.

Happy listening and sharing,

Loving you,

Enchantress Shane

Calling the Young Witches~

Calling the Young Witches~

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From the moment you wake up, what is the feeling you have? I woke up anxious for years, worried, nervous, most of the time without even knowing why!?! I would thrust myself into my day and manage the anxiety until I didn’t realize it was even there any more.

Is this familiar to you? Other days I would wake up angry and grumpy, and as soon as I encountered the first person, I would put on a happy face and move along the day, as tension would build and then I would end up out to dinner, having drinks or at home laying around watching crazy BS TV until I passed out, managing some nonsense for dinner.

YUCK! I know this feeling and it sucks. Days are passing and maybe there is lots of cool stuff going on, but you’re never really present for it. I never was, I would instantly tune in to my harshest critic and spend the whole time judging myself, and considering the “IF only’s.”

  • If only I didn’t care so much what others thought
  • If only I had a man
  • If only I had more money
  • If only my legs were a bit longer
  • If only my butt were rounder
  • If only blah
  • If only blah
  • If only blah

Well it’s time to not only stop that shit, it’s time to be more gentle and turn it into fierceness and freedom!  You are not alone, and YES, life can be different. Affirm that out loud!  I am changing! I am a fierce and free woman of this Universe! I am FREE!!! 

Enchantresses… I care about your freedom and you matter A LOT!

Loving you,

Shane