Are You A Half Ass?

hair pull

Let go of your hair… I know that I’m all about saying nice things to myself, and loving kindness. BUT sometimes a word comes up and it feels “truthy.”  What are some kinder words for half-ass?

I have suffered from this in my life, for as far back as I can remember. How about you? Do you talk a lot and not get a lot done? Are you a dreamer? A visionary? A Enchantress who can be messy and start a lot but not see it through. I hear you, I see you, I am you. It can feel really bad, and I’m here to share, that you are doing ok! Affirm that you beautiful Enchantress! I AM DOING OK!

I have gotten through many half ass ideas and persevered and accomplished goals! All of them? NO. A long time ago a guy I went on a date with (that I was an hour late to,) said to me “they’re all not gems.” It stuck with me.

I am here to applaud all the “half ass-ers” and point out the courage and bravery to putting one foot it, and for some reason sensing “this ain’t right.” And letting it go!

Affirm that! I know when to let go! (Because they all ain’t gems!)

Some ways I’ve moved beyond the half-ass stage:

  • Made lists with mini steps
  • Got a coach (I always have a coach)
  • Wrote tasks in a calendar
  • Asked a friend for text accountability

I’ve also shared my feelings of half-ass in order to let them go….. Care to share any here…

Loving you,

Enchantress Shane

Compassionate for Garbage

Gross!.jpg

I remember as a young child watching garbage roll by on the sidewalk. Yes garbage, and I remember feeling bad for it. I had feeling of abandonment for the garbage, like it was blown along looking for it’s home. I was younger than six, and today I was reminded of this feeling, the actual feeling in my body of, there being so much garbage I couldn’t actually help all of it.  I felt sad that someone didn’t care enough to put it in the garbage. I grew up in Canarsie Brooklyn, there was always trash around. GROSS and careless. Even now when I see people litter, I’m like WTF?!? And I’m tempted every time to charge at them.

Children are so weird, I was, and am weird, I pay attention to my thoughts, they are not all helpful, they are not all positive or normal or loving or friendly. My thoughts can get SO dark it’s scary.  Often they are so weird, I get worried about myself. Then I remember no matter how weird they get, it’s actions that matter.

I am here to stand for the weird, scary, dark and bizarre thoughts and memories. They all matter on some level, they come from mostly experiences, and creations of stories. There is a certain freedom in sharing the weird and scary.

I remember a couple of times, knowing I couldn’t let go of my Mothers hand, (we must have been crossing the street) and save a  piece of garbage. I don’t exactly remember how often I would pick up random garbage and throw it away.

My closing thought on why I did this? I was an extremely sensitive child, and at some point became a young child who learned how to numb her feelings, the numbing lasted until my mid-30’s. How much I resisted and didn’t allow myself to feel.

Does the numb feel familiar to you? What is your “weirdest” childhood memory? Have you every thought of one? Do any just pop up, and it’s surreal how detailed the memory is?

I invite you to share in the comments!

Loving  you,

Shane

P.S. PSA Use garbage cans;)

 

Getting through Uncomfortable & Awkward Times

 

Getting Through Uncomfortable and Awkward Moments

Who doesn’t have them? Moments you have something BIG on your mind, and it’s SO HARD to get it from your head out into the open, and to be shared with another person.

Or are you the type that holds in your feelings, and thinks “this too shall pass.” It won’t and it doesn’t. If you don’t share your feelings, or you wait for the “perfect” time, you are inviting a war to begin in your body, and for unfulfilled expectations to form. BARF. It’s uncomfortable to hold in and it’s uncomfortable to share. There is POWER IN TRANSPARENCY, in telling the truth whenever the f*ck you want. Yes WHENEVER!

Using a beginning phrase and and a closing frame gives you a framework, that will help you not drown in over explaining, becoming defensive or apologetic. It will also help when the other person reacts or responds for you to remain centered and calm.

The other type of bookend, is to sandwich the one thing you DON’T want to do between two awesome and fun things.

Happy listening and sharing,

Loving you,

Enchantress Shane

Calling the Young Witches~

Calling the Young Witches~

sunrise

From the moment you wake up, what is the feeling you have? I woke up anxious for years, worried, nervous, most of the time without even knowing why!?! I would thrust myself into my day and manage the anxiety until I didn’t realize it was even there any more.

Is this familiar to you? Other days I would wake up angry and grumpy, and as soon as I encountered the first person, I would put on a happy face and move along the day, as tension would build and then I would end up out to dinner, having drinks or at home laying around watching crazy BS TV until I passed out, managing some nonsense for dinner.

YUCK! I know this feeling and it sucks. Days are passing and maybe there is lots of cool stuff going on, but you’re never really present for it. I never was, I would instantly tune in to my harshest critic and spend the whole time judging myself, and considering the “IF only’s.”

  • If only I didn’t care so much what others thought
  • If only I had a man
  • If only I had more money
  • If only my legs were a bit longer
  • If only my butt were rounder
  • If only blah
  • If only blah
  • If only blah

Well it’s time to not only stop that shit, it’s time to be more gentle and turn it into fierceness and freedom!  You are not alone, and YES, life can be different. Affirm that out loud!  I am changing! I am a fierce and free woman of this Universe! I am FREE!!! 

Enchantresses… I care about your freedom and you matter A LOT!

Loving you,

Shane