The Enchantress Discusses Transforming Anxiety Into Confidence

How does anxiety get transformed into confidence? Click here to hear this interview with the amazing Danielle M. Holdman, B.Msc.,CPC. She is THE Life & Vocation Coach, Spiritual Counselor, Ordained Metaphysical Minister, Motivational Speaker & Writer

It’s the coaching parlor!


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Improv Acting is Everything

Embodied knowledge comes from embodied experience. Giving yourself the opportunity to be present and speak and move from this place IN connection with another human being. This is life. Improvisational acting is life, one never knows what’s next. Imagine being better and feeling more fulfilled in a relationship. Where do you need clarity?

  • Family
  • Romance
  • Friendships
  • Co-workers
  • Clients

You choose and bring your desire for clarity to this workshop in NYC on July 11th at The famous Open Center…

YES I want to come!

If you are wanting more confidence in connecting with new individuals and more conviction speaking in front of groups, this workshop is for you! We invite you to push your boundaries and give yourself permission to be raw and visible—this is where impact happens. Join us for a deep dive into connection, joy, and consciousness in community. Using Authentic Relating skills and improvisational acting, attendees will be guided to peel the layers of self to reveal truth, presence, and depth, while uncovering and sharing simmering inner possibilities through playing, connecting, and expressing in this radically authentic way.
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Are You A Too Nice Nancy?

It’s the Rockaway Times advice column!

Are you a too nice Nancy? Do you have a hard time telling a man “no” after they’ve bought you a drink? Read on……/3896-too-nice-nancy

Dear Enchantress.

I am SO glad you exist. I wanted to write in with a question and have not been clear, BUT today I am. Last night, something happened while I was out in Rockaway and it happens often and I’m so sick of dealing with it the way I have been, so I’m writing you, and I think some women can also relate. I’m out with girlfriends, and some dude infiltrates. He’s nice, so we don’t shoo him away, and he buys us drinks and then attaches himself on to us. Here is my problem: I am so nice and friendly and start to feel bad for this guy, and then he becomes “my friend” and I feel responsible for him! Ugh, then he trails around me for the rest of the night. Why won’t he see he is not wanted? Help. I’m too nice.

The beautiful thing is you care, you are loving and perhaps an empath? So, it’s wonderful you’re friendly. And when you and all people really are having a good time, and you’re open and available with a smile, eye contact or a welcoming grace, you are then available to “make a new friend.”

Many people say don’t accept the drink from someone, so you don’t have to owe something. I say that is BS. If someone offers you a drink, it’s ok to receive it, and be grateful and nice. At any point, you don’t owe anyone anything ever. It’s a tad rude to receive the drink, then completely walk off or ignore a person, but that one drink that costs $8 does not qualify a person to spend the whole night with you.

The best tip ever: look him/her in the eyes and say “thank you” fully, with a genuine thank you that this person is offering you a drink. And it’s also ok to say “no thank you.” And if they push you to take a drink as some gentlemen do, DO NOT explain; repeat “no thank you.”

I use to be a big drinker and now I’m not. It makes some folks uncomfortable to be around someone who doesn’t drink, and that can cause some annoyance from either of you. You can always ask for water (a gal can’t be too hydrated.) Again, receiving it with pleasure.

When it’s time, you feel the leaching happening and you want your space back, it’s your strong communication, “thank you, it was nice meeting you, I’m going back to being with my friends right now” that will end the connection. There is no need to explain yourself (ever), smile and shake his hand, and repeat, “It was nice meeting you.” If he responds again with some passive aggressiveness. Repeat the sentence, no more, no less.

Another tip, if being direct and clear is too confronting, only accept people into your space who you know, like and trust.

Another tip, if being direct and clear is too confronting, only accept people into your space who you know, like and trust.



Full Fun * Dear Enchantress…


Full Fun

Dear Enchantress,

I was watching one of your videos on Facebook where you spoke about having “full fun.” I am too shy to have full fun, and I’m not really sure I have ever had full fun, but I love the idea of it. How can I, as a shy young woman, let myself be more adventurous to have fun! I know it may sound crazy, but I love dancing, and even when I think about dancing around other people, I get shy just thinking about it. I stand by and watch others dancing around and laughing, and I stand back. I’m not a heavy drinker, but I see I feel more comfortable after I’ve had more drinks. I think it’s ok, but I know I’m using it as a way to avoid feeling uncomfortable.


Ms. Awkward and Shy


Dear Ms. Awkward and Shy,

You are not alone. Also you are so BRAVE! Wanting to have fun without alcohol is a courageous move. I am not against alcohol as a celebration, but as an escape, it’s no bueno (no good). SO! Welcome to the enchanted awkward side of life. I have many awkward moments, and even though not many people believe me, it’s true, and it takes practice and training to get comfortable with all the feelings, and moments that come up with FULL FUN. Full fun is confronting to others, the bigness and the playfulness of an adult (a sober adult), which can make them look at their own habits. I bring this up because if someone takes a risk to have full fun, you will be faced with judgement and “looks” from others. The strength to ignore the looks, judgements and assessments from others needs support. It’s trust muscle that you build. Trusting yourself to be full anything needs time and energy spent in practicing it.

So practice and BE NICE TO YOURSELF, get support. Take yourself to a class aligned with fun. I always like a dance class, I say go to a women’s dance class, because this is a situation that women are most familiar with. Take baby steps and be full fun with yourself at home or with a friend. Get your body knowing what it FEELS like to be full fun. Put on your favorite songs from when you were carefree and it was easy to play. Old school Madonna always works for me.

You are invited to my Beginner Burlesque class on June 7. My intention is: creating a playground space for women to feel and explore their full self of expression. Taking tiny risks may also look like speaking up and asking for what you want, in places where you would otherwise settle. Join the Awkward Enchanted Coven on Facebook, for women just like you!

Enchantress Shane coaches and guides women wanting more magic, passion and confidence in their lives.  Check her out at

Also you can attend Beginner Burlesque in Rockaway at The Castle on Beach 117th Street.